May 30, 2013

Better With Time

“Cultivate solitude and quiet and a few sincere friends, rather than mob merriment, noise and thousands of nodding acquaintances”– William Powell Dear Mr. Powell, I found your quote on a status, and it got me thinking.  Although in the world we live, this seems like a difficult thing, but its exactly what I endeavour to do. 

November 12, 2012

The Lonely VCR

Remember video cassettes? Before floppy drives, CDs, DVDs and external hard drives, those little black boxes contained people’s entire worlds. Mine as well. As I disposed of over 50 of them a few days ago, I was fondly reminded of how important they used to be to me.  TV recordings of Disney Hour, numerous animated movies – from Cinderalla to Chip ‘N’ Dale to the Asterix series, taping of documentaries by National Geographic broadcast on Oman TV, figure skating, old hindi and bengali movies.  My personal favourites – the Miss World competitions where Miss Venezuela would always look the best but not speak a word of sense and a recording…

April 23, 2012

Fulfillment

 Expectation is the root of all evil. You can pour your heart out and can still not expect a speck of kindness in return. You can continue to believe in a better world, but you will be in it alone. There is no such things as companionship. Just these fleeting moments which seem as they might last for a while longer. The less you give a damn, the happier you will be. The more alone you are, the more safe.

December 30, 2011

Do you concur?

In a multitude of situations I find myself bewildered by the subject of intellect. Sometimes combined with intelligence and plain taste. On innumerable instances I’m duped by my own inability to judge and refrain from keeping the company of those who clearly do not deserve it. Not to say that they are less intelligent or of a lower intellect – my opinion is just that they are on a different tangent. I inevitably land onto curves which I should most definitely stay away from, a disease which I succumb to rather frequently. Lamenting and regret often follow but to no constuctive end. One of my greatest fears is to be…

December 22, 2011

Distress Call!

The only emotion I constantly feel is boredom. My iPod recently broke down. I’m left with only the music on the BlackBerry. I simply cannot concentrate on anything. Haven’t finished a book in forever. The MasterChef series are ending! I’m tired of eating bread all the time. I would kill for a phulka and some anda bhurji. The greys seem to be on an increasing graph. It feels like its impossible to wake up in the mornings and drag myself to work. I’ve been reading travel magazines all week long and I know that a trip is nowhere in the picture. I was recently told that I’m single because I’m…

December 7, 2011

It’s a first!

Earlier into the year, I had written about the desire for lone travelling and mentioned that the solitude, in some cases was one of my biggest fears. Although I enjoy my alone time immensely and quite often crave for more, watching a movie in a theatre alone has been something I was yet to tread on. I have always dreaded it thinking that it was the sort of thing loners took to. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Over the past two weeks, my backlog of movies had increased exponentially – too many movies released and I hadn’t been able to watch them due to work, being out-of-station and more…

September 17, 2011

New Diary

The goodbyes are always the most difficult. I’ve done this year on year, and although I believe I have grown stronger, it shakes me up to think that tomorrow this time, I wont be here. Not in this room, not in this country. Not with the people I care for most. Sometimes, I wonder to myself – they years are so precious and we spend them trying to prove all kinds of things to ourselves and others. In twenty years from today, will there be any regrets? And how would I console myself if there are. Choices are aplenty and I do not understand why I choose to do what…

July 28, 2011

Solo è buono

I have always skeptical of loneliness as a concept. I have evolved over the years and now I quite enjoy my alone time; In fact, I quite look forward to it. I’m rather fond of travelling along – metro stations, airports, taxis to buses and autos; I love eating alone with a book; Walking on my own with my music is the best form of relaxation. Going to watch a movie on my own I have yet not conquered, but the thought of it does not seem so revolting anymore. Came across a report on why one should travel alone – to destinations. It triggered a thought that I’m way…

May 24, 2011

Cowardice

I fear I am becoming faint-hearted. I find myself becoming increasingly affected by my surroundings, to the effect that I no longer feel happy. I am forced to drag myself around unwillingly, to work, around people, other places every single day. Change has always been something I have been terrified of. It scares me to even imagine uprooting myself from the current proximity, letting go of the few who I truly care for, thinking that I would never have this again. In this process, I am suffocating myself. I am binding myself to an environment which no longer holds anything positive for me – there is no trust, no laughter,…

January 20, 2011

Jim Reeves

Lyrics dedicated to the state of mind. Who says only love can cause heartbreaks. I’m just on the blue side of lonesomeRight next to the heartbreak hotelIn a tavern that’s known as three teardropsOn a bar stool not doing so well The floor has a carpet of sorrow But no one can weep in the aisle And they say someone broke the bar mirrorWith only the ghost of a smile The hands on the clock never alterFor things never change in this place There’s no present no past, no future We’re the ones who’ve lost in hope’s race. I’m just on the blue side of lonesome..