April 13, 2012

An Education

In the midst of all the corporate meetings, incessant jargon-fleeced rambling, the vicious circle of unending reports and plans, I miss the part when I actually enjoyed what I did because almost everyday I learnt something new. Talking about learning I often reminisce, thinking about some of the brilliant lectures and talks we were exposed to – while in college. There were those when I just put my head down on the table and slept through the entire one and a half hours. And then there were those where I sat myself in the first row, listened intently and tried to write down everything that came out of the professor’s mouth….

September 17, 2011

New Diary

The goodbyes are always the most difficult. I’ve done this year on year, and although I believe I have grown stronger, it shakes me up to think that tomorrow this time, I wont be here. Not in this room, not in this country. Not with the people I care for most. Sometimes, I wonder to myself – they years are so precious and we spend them trying to prove all kinds of things to ourselves and others. In twenty years from today, will there be any regrets? And how would I console myself if there are. Choices are aplenty and I do not understand why I choose to do what…

July 28, 2011

Solo è buono

I have always skeptical of loneliness as a concept. I have evolved over the years and now I quite enjoy my alone time; In fact, I quite look forward to it. I’m rather fond of travelling along – metro stations, airports, taxis to buses and autos; I love eating alone with a book; Walking on my own with my music is the best form of relaxation. Going to watch a movie on my own I have yet not conquered, but the thought of it does not seem so revolting anymore. Came across a report on why one should travel alone – to destinations. It triggered a thought that I’m way…

July 4, 2011

Time of My Life

It never rains when you want it to. Life is unpredictable, as are the people who form it. That seems to my biggest problem with it. Why cannot we stay still for a while, why cannot things that have taken months and years to perfect, not rest a little for a moment – just so that one can admire the effort put into creating them. The older and the wiser tell me that this is the way of the world, that this is what is meant to be, this is what is necessary for the circle of the life to go on. My profound thoughts deeply triggered by the number…

June 9, 2011

Summer Tales

Although I cannot stop complaining about the way my life is increasingly edging towards mundane, looking back at my photo albums, there seems to have been a lot of movement. There seems to be a lot happening and I haven’t been able to keep account of the activities, so in no particular order, here goes: # Ridhima got married. Swetha, Bhardwaj and I splurged on an air-conditioned cab to get there and be a part of her big day in Jaipur. It was my first trip to Rajasthan and while I was awestruck by all its Rajputana majesty and grandeur; I would never recommend that anyone visit during peak summers….

May 24, 2011

Cowardice

I fear I am becoming faint-hearted. I find myself becoming increasingly affected by my surroundings, to the effect that I no longer feel happy. I am forced to drag myself around unwillingly, to work, around people, other places every single day. Change has always been something I have been terrified of. It scares me to even imagine uprooting myself from the current proximity, letting go of the few who I truly care for, thinking that I would never have this again. In this process, I am suffocating myself. I am binding myself to an environment which no longer holds anything positive for me – there is no trust, no laughter,…

October 27, 2010

Almost half a year in black and white

A lot has happened over the months. It is almost the end of October and I am overwhelmed by the fact that I have spent the past 6 months being employed and so far, been doing okay. The cliched ‘corporate’ was meant to be this big, bad world which was to remind you, visually, of Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’. So far, there have been bad days, days when I have wanted to throw myself off a cliff, days when I have wanted to throw others off a really high cliff (tied to a cannonball, of course); but overall, it feels good to reiterate, I’ve been okay. Today, I heard the most…

September 23, 2010

Fleeting

Happiness is fleeting. As is any other feeling. Sometimes it feels like that the choices we make are the most difficult things we do. To be able to understand why we subject ourselves to the T junction at all is what I contemplate. Why cannot it be, that we find a solution wherein we do not have to sacrifice what we want as well as what is expected of us. It is breathtaking what one will do to ensure that they are perceived well by their fellows. It is important to ‘adjust’, to ‘fit in’, to do something in the lines of what is established as a standard practice. Why…

June 23, 2010

Contemplations

A feeling of ‘new-ness’ all around me, and sometimes I cannot decipher whether it makes me happy or otherwise. It has been around two months that I have shifted base (quite literally) over to Gurgaon, Haryana, and am still not accustomed with the changes it has brought. • Joined work. Check. • Got my second, first paycheck. Check. • Met new people. Check. • Visited relatives. Check. • Started to eat dabba food. Check. • Travelled in the almost non-existent public transport. Check. • Refreshed my i pod with more Tamil music. Check. • Strengthened my belief in Global Warming. Double check. • Pizza became a staple diet. Check. •…

April 30, 2010

Bari

An air conditioned room, a cane rocking chair, uninterrupted supply of calorie and non calorie food, parents and not a worry in the world. I have been talking about changes throughout the past month – this seems to be the biggest leap I am about to take. Tomorrow, I board the flight to Gurgaon; a place I have not known at all, to people I have known for a little while, taking the largest independent step in my entire life. I feel a little shaky, but I know it will all be okay, with time. My father just spent the last three hours talking about things he learnt in life,…