May 24, 2011

Cowardice

I fear I am becoming faint-hearted. I find myself becoming increasingly affected by my surroundings, to the effect that I no longer feel happy. I am forced to drag myself around unwillingly, to work, around people, other places every single day. Change has always been something I have been terrified of. It scares me to even imagine uprooting myself from the current proximity, letting go of the few who I truly care for, thinking that I would never have this again. In this process, I am suffocating myself. I am binding myself to an environment which no longer holds anything positive for me – there is no trust, no laughter,…

March 17, 2011

Sinking

There have been so many days when I have sat and stared at the ‘New Post’ page, felt a flush of things I would like to let out, and ended up not being able to write anything. However, things are rather morose and have been looking down, through the past few weeks. Highlights: I missed yet another trip to the Taj Mahal I have yet again, been rendered homeless I am going to be alone on Holi I can feel the summers coming back I am, for the first time in my life, regretting a career decision I am giving up on people I have not used my camera, apart…

January 29, 2011

Falsification of the trust

It is not everyday that I get shocked by certain things which happen to me. Not anymore at least. But today I was. Unpleasantly. It is no surprise why people say that privacy should be maintained. Somehow it happens to me that I stumble across things which were never meant for my ears or eyes and I spend time in retrospect of what I had done to deserve this. All these days I had spent thinking that I had maybe found something special, something real which was here to stay, some relationships which I could invest into without having to think twice. Probably made the mistake of presuming that I…