July 27, 2013

Cryptex.

See a drop of blood darken the snow Stare at a blinking light for hours Sit by the phone that never rings Stow away all the boxes Build a home with pillars of sawdust Make sure the floor is quicksand Slap the walls with posters of faith And then, paint the front door red Place your hand on the pulsating speaker Scream as loud as you can  Submerge yourself in water; hold your breath Come back gasping for air *** Sometimes no matter what you do, it never is enough Even when you run the hardest and for the longest time, you always come in second What do you do…

December 30, 2011

Do you concur?

In a multitude of situations I find myself bewildered by the subject of intellect. Sometimes combined with intelligence and plain taste. On innumerable instances I’m duped by my own inability to judge and refrain from keeping the company of those who clearly do not deserve it. Not to say that they are less intelligent or of a lower intellect – my opinion is just that they are on a different tangent. I inevitably land onto curves which I should most definitely stay away from, a disease which I succumb to rather frequently. Lamenting and regret often follow but to no constuctive end. One of my greatest fears is to be…

May 24, 2011

Cowardice

I fear I am becoming faint-hearted. I find myself becoming increasingly affected by my surroundings, to the effect that I no longer feel happy. I am forced to drag myself around unwillingly, to work, around people, other places every single day. Change has always been something I have been terrified of. It scares me to even imagine uprooting myself from the current proximity, letting go of the few who I truly care for, thinking that I would never have this again. In this process, I am suffocating myself. I am binding myself to an environment which no longer holds anything positive for me – there is no trust, no laughter,…

February 10, 2011

Jolt!

A jolt is all you need. A significant push, an apple falling on the head, a sudden revelation, a kick in the nuts to shake you out of the comfortable universe you live in. These shoves come in various forms, intensities and sometimes, when you expect it the least. Some of them will shake you to the core and leave you in a daze, others might bore a hole through your heart and some others will just leave you older and wiser. In a way, all of these are good. It demonstrates that nothing ever is constant and those who like stability must just settle for a different planet. Just…

January 29, 2011

Falsification of the trust

It is not everyday that I get shocked by certain things which happen to me. Not anymore at least. But today I was. Unpleasantly. It is no surprise why people say that privacy should be maintained. Somehow it happens to me that I stumble across things which were never meant for my ears or eyes and I spend time in retrospect of what I had done to deserve this. All these days I had spent thinking that I had maybe found something special, something real which was here to stay, some relationships which I could invest into without having to think twice. Probably made the mistake of presuming that I…