May 24, 2011

Cowardice

I fear I am becoming faint-hearted. I find myself becoming increasingly affected by my surroundings, to the effect that I no longer feel happy. I am forced to drag myself around unwillingly, to work, around people, other places every single day. Change has always been something I have been terrified of. It scares me to even imagine uprooting myself from the current proximity, letting go of the few who I truly care for, thinking that I would never have this again. In this process, I am suffocating myself. I am binding myself to an environment which no longer holds anything positive for me – there is no trust, no laughter,…