The goodbyes are always the most difficult.
I’ve done this year on year, and although I believe I have grown stronger, it shakes me up to think that tomorrow this time, I wont be here.
Not in this room, not in this country. Not with the people I care for most.
Sometimes, I wonder to myself – they years are so precious and we spend them trying to prove all kinds of things to ourselves and others. In twenty years from today, will there be any regrets? And how would I console myself if there are.
Choices are aplenty and I do not understand why I choose to do what I do. I know that pride has a little to do with it, and the obstinacy of sticking to a promise I made; the only question however, is that – Is it worth it all?
I must believe that it is. Tomorrow, when I venture out of the sheltered nest, I’m going to give my best shot to be braver, stronger and more patient with the world around me. I will, indeed try to forget what I had expected this to be, and the days that were, to be able to begin afresh.
I will ask for a new diary.