Ramblings of the troubled mind

Have you ever had the feeling of non-belonging? The very same one which makes you feel as though everything’s lost. That palace of playing cards that you’ve been building for as long as you can remember has just been knocked over by a gush of wind, and it has all been undone.

Living in a world where everyone’s a stranger.

What it does to your morale when you find yourself trying hard to be something you are not. And imagine doing that every day, just to belong. Just to feel like a part of what’s happening, and fit into something that others have created and been a part of. I wonder how this has become a norm – when was it decided that only a particular manner of behaviour was accepted, and the other would enlist you as an outcast.
How bad would it be, to be an outcast?

Would it be lonely? Would it be sad? Or would it be liberating? All the not having to pretend – would it do any good?

900-something friends on Facebook, 23 years of successfully living in society, and yet, it doesn’t seem that trust exists. Or even friendship. People have several definitions of the term – mine unfortunately doesn’t match anyone else’s that I have met as yet. Probably because I can’t switch the feelings off –it must make all the difference in the world.

Friendship with benefits, friendship with strings attached, friendship beyond boundaries, friendship even when out of sight and so many other genres of the relationship have complicated things, so everyone’s a friend, and on their whim, is not, depending on circumstances and convenience, of course.

At this point, it really doesn’t matter.

Friend. Almost-friend. Fiend. Startlingly muddled are the concepts.