Cynical Me

It is often heard that no matter how old you get, you have never actually seen enough. The world always has something new to offer which can shock you to the core and people will never disappoint with the new antics they can come up with to surprise you – pleasantly or otherwise.
My experiences have been parallel to the thought. And I have never been disappointed.
The moment I begin to gather up the courage to call someone a friend, they would do something so disastrous to my trust that it shatters me completely and I have to silently weigh the whole relationship again, and silently place it in the section wherein feelings are neutral or non-existent.
Most of the people I have trusted with the ‘emotions’ have always let me down. I’m sure I would have too, at certain junctures, but pretences have never been something I am good at. Maybe the expectation targets I set for people are too high, and they fail continually to reach them, and with time, give up. In the world, as we know it, it is a lot, if people are asked to be honest, unbiased or two-faced. An array of adjectives could follow, but really, thoughts seem to have become repetitive.
Since, this is a ranting spree, why not complain some more.
There’s the bit where talent goes unrecognized, for something which is more attractive or loud and in-your-face. So, if you’re good at what you do, and also perform, it would not suffice. You would have to also indulge in heavy duty drama which would make it look as though the people around you do nothing, compared to yourself.
Lesson #1: Act. Perform in front of as many spectators as possible. In one’s workplace, the same applies, but with a annexure. Please memorize: The higher the designation of the audience, the more effective the outcome.
People you think to be friends, are really not anywhere close. It’s all about the right person at the right time. And once the opportune moment and relevance has passed, friendship can take a hike! There might be people around you who are given things they do not deserve, and you might be a spectator to the phenomenon, for the longest time, but the solution will come from the above!
Lesson #2: Depend on only yourself for happiness and company. Essentially, the concept of ‘Akele aaye ho, akele jana hai’ couldn’t be phrased any better. It’s great and lucky if you find someone to walk with you, but to be safe, don’t expect it.
And honestly, it really isn’t that bad. I’ve done the sitting in a café alone with a book, going for a walk alone with music, travelling alone, going shopping on my own, had meals alone and I’m sure there would be more instances of the ‘alone-ness’ and I have enjoyed most of it. Have missed out on a lot of good movies because I did not have anyone to watch it with me; will premier on the movie-alone this year for sure. And yes, in the history of my existence, this was the first time that I did not watch a Harry Potter movie first day, some show.
Talk only as much as is required. Excess conversation are mostly unnecessary and a waste of time and grey cells. This is one the hugest causes of problems in people’s lives, according to me. If one talks about and discusses only what is essential and does not bother about others, it would be the perfect world.
Lesson #3: Contrary to popular conceptions, gossip is not a healthy way to vent out. It just makes one all the more aggravated about a topic and creates a cloud of negative thoughts over the mind of the bitcher and is hurtful in several ways to the bitchee.
Another misconception that I have lived with was that if one is continually and consistently good to people, good karma will bring it back to them. Although I will always believe in the ‘What goes around, come around’, my faith is faltering. I was taught this by my family (parents and grandmother), but I think they were talking about a generation completely different to where we live now. No karma exists here.
Lesson #4: Actively engage in concentrating on yourself. Just because you believe in ‘Heal the World’ doesn’t necessarily make the world a humanitarian.
The learnings feel good to be let out. I think it would be a real step towards actual learning and moving on, once these would be implemented (apart from Lesson#1, which was just sarcasm)
Am 23 and the world has almost turned me into a cynic. This sucks.