( ng g r)

Anger is the point where all sense stops.

Have heard of the experience from several people; when angry, most of the things done or said are regretted either immediately or later.

But that doesn’t stop people from being angry, for others to be responsible for causing that anger, or at times to egg on the cause.

The management of the said anger is the key. How does one control or divert the anger? Should it be diverted at all? Is it not better to get it out of the system permanently?

Just the other day I was having this hour long conversation with a friend on how anger could be commanded or vented – he was of the opinion that the most ideal situation would be to let it out, be it verbose or if need be, physically. His theory revolved around the warning mechanism: strangers get two, acquaintances get three and friends get a walk-away.

Have always had a constant tussle with anger; don’t exactly possess a temper, but once triggered, it gets really difficult to think logically. Am not an angry person, have never been known to be. However, lately, the anger seems to be coming naturally. All other so-called ‘negative’ emotions are almost all translated into the rage. The worst part about it is that I can hardly let it out. I do not punch people; physical aggression is not my thing. I do not talk behind backs – that somehow never helps me. I do not scream; there never seems to be the right place where no one would hear me. There is hardly anyone to talk to, about the phenomenon, although I do think that talking might, just might help.

So when I can feel the anger rise, the ears go red and hot, the best thing is to disappear into isolation; to completely shut up and turn on really loud and disturbing music to take my mind of the subject in question. Writing helps. Like now, am venting, in my own way.

The problem however, remains that the issue at hand does not disappear or diminish by this method.

One day I will deal with this anger. Not to make it go away, but to ensure that it is directed towards the people who deserve it.

The *happy* new year and resolution thoughts seem slightly distant now.